Disappointed

Let me preface this post by saying that it is related to politics, and is probably not going to be funny or satirical, so if you are 1- Closed minded or 2- Terminally conservative or liberal for that matter, I would discourage you from reading further.

I am not a citizen of the United States of America. I was born in the UK, and am reluctant to denounce the nation in which I was born until I am truly prepared to do so completely. I am, however, passionately patriotic. I love this nation. I believe that the framers of the constitution were guided by God Himself. I minored in political science because I was fascinated by the perfect system of checks and balances. I know the words to all verses of the national anthem and proudly sing them whenever the opportunity arises. I get emotional when I see the troops in harm's way to protect the freedom. Perhaps most disturbingly, I understand more about this nation's political process than the people who can more rightly call this their government.

This nation was born of a small motley band's desire for one thing; a voice. They believed that taxation without representation was condemnable enough to go to war. They valued their voice, their freedom above their own lives, and thousands upon thousands have bled dry to defend that same freedom. One of the greatest representations of this freedom is the political process, and yet millions of us willingly sacrifice our voice through inaction.

People will offer numerous excuses for their lack of engagement in the political process, but the most common (and most disturbing) excuse is "I just don't know enough about the issues." This is an unfortunate dismissal of our most fundamental freedom. The freedom of information is critical to keeping the government in check. The constitution was first amended with "unfettered press" to ensure that whatever the government does, someone is watching. Yet what are we watching? Not the painfully objective journalism of our grandparents' era, but rather the egotistical rantings of self-centered pundits. I will not name any particulars, but it is disturbing when cable news' "most watched program" is not true journalism, but rather an hour long editorial, a platform for spouting propaganda and opinion, driven not by a desire for truth and protection of freedom, but rather by the almighty advertising dollar, and the ratings that drive it.

This is not a condemnation of all news outlets, as many are exceptional and passionately uphold the tenets of the journalistic profession. What is disappointing is the younger population's increasing disinterest and disengagement in the political process. In an age where information is more easily available than in any other time in the nation or even planet's history, to simply excuse one's self from the civic duty to vote due to being uninformed is disgusting and should not be tolerated.

It is time that we as a nation get angry. All of us. Angry about global warming. Angry about deficit spending. Angry about the politicization of the supreme court. Angry about pork barrel politics. Angry about partisan squabbling. Angry about obscene lobbyist influence. Angry about a dilapidated zoo. The list could be infinite, the point is that there is something that most all of us is angry about, or would be if we took the time to learn just a little. This anger is what representative democracy is about. The vehicle to expedite this change has been given us by birthright, but it falls to us to drive this vehicle through participation in the political process.

My hope is that if nothing else, you appreciate the significance of your right to vote, and remember as you pull a lever, mark a card, or touch a screen, that countless people before you fought, bled and died to give you that privilege. Participate in the political process, even if only in a small way. If you did not register to vote in time for this election, register as soon as possible so as not to miss another one, and look forward to when you can vote. I know that I do.

Fall TV

I truly loathe TV producers, just as a battered spouse loathes her abuser.  I know that analogy is pretty tasteless, but here me out -  these people only give you enough "love" (see: story) to keep you coming back until the next episode or season, and then when they have found another more interesting "project," they give you a beating of a finish like the last season of Alias.  J.J Abrams, Adelstein|Prouse, David Eick, and lest we forget the juggernaughts, Bruckheimer and Dick Wolf.  Who are these people?  The abuser-masterminds behind the Hamlet of our day, namely Lost, Prison Break, all seventeen iterations of CSI and Law & Order (set to launch both CSI Topeka and Law & Order; Guantanamo this season), not to mention the sacred Battlestar (sadly in its last season) and all the other dribble that we can't miss this fall.  Shakespeare may seem like a generous comparison for the spinoff prone, product placement whores that punctuate episodes with partial nudity, sexual tension (will Kate pick Sawyer or Jack?!?!), completely implausible insinuations like "someone will die" (but if it's Heroes, will somehow not really die even though he went ka-boom over New York), and nuke-uler timers ticking away at the last moments of this weeks episode, just to hook you for 6 days 23 hours until you can get your next fix.  I admit it.  If I were a crack-head, TV would be my crack, and this next month is like me taking a walk through the ghetto with a wad of twenties.  Another tasteless analogy I know, but that's what my abuser has taught me - humor at the expense of the less fortunate and cliche stereotypes punctuated with a catch-phrase and the removing and replacing of my designer sunglasses... I'm looking at you David Caruso.  All I can say is thank heaven for DVR so I can still see my kids.  

The Worst Candy Idea EVER

Chocolate Skittles sounds like a pretty good idea from the outset. Chocolate? Good. Chewey? Good. The problem is where they went from there. S'mores? Brownie batter? I like Chocolate more than most, and so when I saw a bag of chocolate skittles on "Clearance" (I know now why) fo r$2 i thought "Score." The problem is now I have a pound of candy that my wife and 3-year-old would turn down, and that taste like some sort of high school home-ec experiment.

Maybe I can use them to dress up my flowerbeds...

Dear Skittles;

Next time you think about making a chocolate candy, don't. M&Ms have a 40 year head start on you, and you aren't really that good at it. Just stick with what you know.

Sincerely,

Battlestar Dave

Vacations

I think Americans are getting the shaft when it comes to vacations. I have been with the same company (all said and done) for over 5 years. I get just over 3 weeks of vacation per year, and never in the entire time have I been able to use all that time. Nucking Futs! It's like health care - some "important" benefit that is great to have, until you actually need to use it, at which time the provider finds some vague reason not to cover you.

Usually I just have too much going on at work (or I am too big of a Pansie) to even ask for days off, but when I do, I have to cram so much into the so-called vacation that I need a week of sick time to recover.

My Irish relatives do it right. When they come here on "Holiday" it isn't for a week but rather a month, they don't bring their blackberries or mobiles, they sleep in till at least 11 every day, and they do whatever the hell they want FOR A MONTH!!! They get the urge to see Vegas, they go to Vegas. They get bored with Vegas, they go on to Disneyland, and never once does their employer give them crap about "PTO Blackouts" or the "Department Workflow."

I just had a great family vacation to Monterey, Ca. and realized that this is the first time in almost a decade that I have taken more than 5 days off for a vacation (no, honey, the birth of our kids doesn;t count as a vacation). Some might say that getting laid off with a severance is the same thing as a vacation, but those people deserve to be laid off 2 weeks after finding out that their wife is pregnant. Vacation, my @$$.

A decade... That is just plain sad. My goal from here on out is to take more vacations, and eventually get the minerals to take a month long one. The real issue here is that I still want to be on vacation... I guess that is what retirement is for though eh?

Stupid Cheese

Okay, so we all have moments that we aren't particularly proud of.  Things like Britney Spears and the whole marrying Kevin Federline (or you could even just say the past 24 months), or George W. and appointing Rummy.  I had one of those moments Friday as I was cleaning the kitchen sink.  There was some cheese dried onto the bottom, and I decided to use my fingernail to get it off.  It is amazing how fast and hard that stuff dries.  So instead of gradually coming off, a tiny piece broke off and went under my thumbnail.  Ouch. 

So I cleaned it out and didn't think about it again, and the next morning my whole thumb was achy and huge, and I could barely move it.  Not excruciating, but to put it in perspective I had to shave left handed.  So I called the nurse's hotline and went through her "triage" checklist, and she tells me that because cheese is basically rotten milk, it is teeming with bacteria.  Next, more good news: because I haven't had a tetanus shot in ten years plus, she tells me that I will need to visit my doctor and get jabbed in the arse with a needle almost as big as the chunk of solidified milk bacteria that started this whole thing. 

Moral of the story: let the wife clean the sink. 

Store Hours

So it never ceases to amaze me when we close our store, invariably 2-3 minutes after the posted closing time of 8 pm, that customers always cut it too close and show up around 8:09.  I can understand being late, and being disappointed, especially if they have the same attitude toward punctuality when it comes to paying their bills.  I feel for them because they were ALMOST on time.

On the other hand, I do not feel bad for the people who show up 27 minutes late, slam into the door angrily, pound on the glass with their fist, lean back to look at the posted hours, check their watch (as if to accuse us of closing early), and then yell from outside that they just want to pay a bill, which they usually follow up with an "I can see you in there (like we are hiding)".  I don't know where these people come from, but you can get to my store from pretty much anywhere in the Salt Lake Valley, and even parts of Tooele, in under half an hour, so these people must realize at 7:59 that they need to pay their bills and decide to hop in the car to see if they can warp space and time.  

The best part is that when we refuse to open the door, they invariably storm back to their Dodge truck with the Cummins Turbo Diesel and a 3" lift and burn $20 in diesel and about $7 in rubber to punctuate their angst with Sprint.  Maybe if they were slightly more conservative with the resources required to maintain their transportation, they would have the money to pay their bills on time.

How dare we close our doors at the posted time, honestly!  I think perhaps we would be more compassionate if the people who were coming late weren't the same people who want to argue things like the rate of their city's taxes, or the price of a 411 call - and it's not like they didn't have 45 days to pay their bill BEFORE if got suspended for non-payment... It reminds me of a sign that my High School Algebra teacher had at his desk; "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." Maybe Mr. Reynolds could come work part time for me holding a sign outside my store from 8:01-8:45 every night.  Probably beats greeting at Wal-Mart... then again it's still retail...

My Mastercard ad...

Three tickets to the zoo; $25.  Two cups of Dippin Dots and a popsicle; $8. Having your three-year old ask you what these monkeys are doing; priceless.  

Next time I go I'm going to ask the zookeeper.  I'll bet they crinkle...